The Bright(er) Side: Ignorance

Many people have heard statements like:

"He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer"

Hopefully it hasn't been uttered directly towards you, but if it has, take heart! This and many other put downs aren't all they're cracked up to be. So if you've been called "not the

...sharpest crayon in the box
...sharpest tool in the shed
...brightest light in the harbor.
...brightest bulb in the box.
...brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.
...brightest crayon in the box.
...brightest bulb in the chandelier.
...quickest bunny in the forest.
...quickest horse in the stable.
...fastest ship in the fleet.

Simply ask yourself this question: "Who is the sharpest, brightest, quickest or fastest?" These statements have the implication that there is only one who can be the sharpest, brightest, etc. Chances are it isn't you, or the person who issued this put down. Thus proving the same for them as it is for you. If in fact they were the sharpest, brightest, quickest or fastest they would have used one of these:

A few screws short of a hardware store.
A few cards short of a deck.
A few peas short of a casserole.
A few keys short of a keyboard.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
A burger short of a combo meal.
Or one of the many others I found on the web.

If you have been called one of these, well...I've got nothin'. Have a good day.